Call State Farm!
by Lorrean
Summary: When there's trouble, you know who to call... State Farm!


**A/N: This may take place in the Sonic X Universe. Do note that this is a crack fic, so don't take anything in this fic too seriously.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog.**

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"Dude! Get out of the way!" cried Sonic.

Robots fired randomly at the Mobian heroes, and all four animals ducked and dodged out of the way. People screamed and ran away from the destruction happening around the city of Station Square.

"Why of all times does Eggman decide to attack us when were just about to have lunch! I'm starving; I didn't even eat breakfast!" Sonic whined. "I haven't eaten a chilidog today!"

"Well, maybe if someone woke up early enough to have breakfast and didn't sleep in," Tails suggested to his blue friend, as he flew past him in the X-Tornado. Sonic crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.

"It's not my fault; I have to have my beauty sleep!" He huffed.

Amy swung her Piko-Piko hammer wildly at the bots smashing a few out of the hundreds of robot heads off. Knuckles the Echidna grabbed a nearby pole and swung multiple times. The robots were closing in on him fast as they tried to get him from behind. Tails flew to his friends' rescue though and while in the air used his missiles to destroy the bots on Knuckles. Sonic spin-dashed, knocking over a couple of bots, then land safely on the ground, and turned to his right and spotted a hotdog stand.

His mouth started to drool and his stomach growled. Man, was he hungry!

He walked toward the stand slowly as if he were in some kind of trance. But a robot came out of nowhere and smashed the stall into bits. A man in a white apron and hat gave a disapproving look to the hedgehog hero and ran off. Sonic groaned and brought his hands to his head and ruffled his hair in frustration.

Eggman on his Egg-mobile floated to the front center of his army of robots, which he always does.

"Hohoho! It's over, Sonic. You and your little animal friends may as well give up," the mad scientist said to Sonic in his usual condescending tone.

"No way!" shouted Tails, settling off the plane. He ran to join his friends in a stand-down.

"We're never giving up," Knuckles said, determined.

"Yeah! We will fight till the end!" cried Amy.

"What they said," called Sonic.

Sonic was sitting in the midst of his friends crissed-crossed with his head down and a hand on his stomach as it growled loudly for everyone to hear. The other Mobians' faces turned red in embarrassment.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a small blue car drove out of control and hit Tails' X-Tornado.

" _NOO_!" Tails cried out as his precious plane went soaring in to the air and crashed a few blocks away into a building. The kitsune fell on his knees in shock.

"My. Plane."

"Don't worry Tails, I got you covered," said Knuckles to his friend calmly. The red echidna then cleared his throat and sang, "Like a good neighbor State Farm is there!"

Then suddenly a perky woman in a black business suit, strutting with black heels poofed out of nowhere.

Sonic was still seated on the ground and he and everyone else, except Knuckles, looked at the woman in wonder.

"Uh, who's that?" Sonic asked.

"Oh, that's my agent," said Knuckles.

"Knuckles the Echidna has an agent?" Amy said in disbelief, lowering her hammer.

"Hello, I'm Adeline Kane," said the woman sweetly. "I'll take care of your problem right away."

The young woman walked away and headed to where the blue car was to go talk to the man who was driving it.

"Knuckles, how did you make that happen? You know, make that lady appear out of nowhere," Tails asked.

"It's all part of the jingle, Tails. Go on, try it!"

"Um, alright. Like a good neighbor State Farm is there," the two-tailed fox said, unsure with his tone.

"With a buffet! And chilidogs!" Sonic exclaimed.

Suddenly a large buffet of food appeared on the side of the road and Sonic's mouth began to water again. He ran and got himself a plate of everything the blue hedgehog could want.

" _Ooooh_! And with the pod of the I!" Amy shouted with pure joy. A pink IPod materialised into her hand along with some matching pink head phones that were already on her head. " _Neat_!"

"How about a new X-Tornado plane," said Tails hopefully. A new plane similar to his destroyed one magically appeared with a poof of smoke by his side. "That works."

"How about a giant anvil to crush all of those robots?" Sonic suggested, with a mouthful of chilidog sandwiches. A giant anvil then fell from the sky and crushed every single one of Eggman's minions. The scientist looked back at his now destroyed army of robots. He growled furiously and balled his fists on his transport.

"What are you going to do now Eggface? Your bots are totaled!" Sonic said with a smirk.

Eggman just chuckled and turned to face his enemies.

"Do you pests really believe you're the only ones with insurance?"

"What do you – ," Knuckles began to ask but was cut short when something caught his eye. Sonic stopped shoving chilidogs in his mouth and looked over at what the echidna was seeing. Amy pulled her headphones off her ears and put them around her neck and stared, Tails revert his eyes on his new plane and cocked a brow.

A small green gecko appeared walking on his two back legs like a human and walked over towards the man on the floating machine.

"Hey there mate, havin' some trouble?" The gecko spoke in a soft, Australian accent.

"You have Geico? You have got to be kidding me," said Amy.

"Why of course, it was so easy, a caveman could do it," Eggman said, flashing a smug grin.

Suddenly, a bunch of caveman came out of nowhere and tackled the scientist and started to beat him up.

"Ooh, that's not pretty," said the gecko.

Adeline walked over to where the group were. "I'm sorry due to the fact that you are Mobian heroes and have special abilities we can no longer accept your services."

" _What_?" the five animals yelled.

Eggman walked up next to the woman, a couple of rips and tears in his uniform. "Well I'm through with Geico, I hate lizards anyway."

"Oi. Hurtful." said the gecko.

"I guess I could make State Farm my new – " Eggman started.

"We can't accept your services either," Adeline quickly snapped. She then disappeared with a _poof_!

"Shoot," sighed Eggman.

"What are we supposed to use for insurance then?" Knuckles demanded.

As if on cue, a white duck flew in on the scene and landed on Sonic's head. "Alflack!" the duck screeched, flailing its wings.

"Hmmph. That will do," said the red echidna.

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 **A/N: Definitely not my best work. But it's a crack fic. I tend to go off hand when writing these kinds of stuff.**

 **If you read, then review!**


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